My trip out west was such a great time! I've had Mia full-time since she was born so I think a 9 day vacation was much deserved! The trip did result in Mia's weaning, on the one hand, it sucks! I miss having those one-on-one moments with Mia in the silence of our bedroom and being just quite together, but on the other hand I am jumping for joy as this means I have more freedom! I can buy push-up under wire bras again and I can go spend the night at someones house and not have to worry about Mia needing me. I don't regret a moment of nursing Mia till she was 2, and I never thought that I would wean her this early, it just happened. But I am thankful for the time that I was able to spend with Mia nursing. And I can't wait till I get to go thru pregnancy, nursing and all the jazz again, who knows when that will be, but I look forward to it! :)
Nursed Mia from May 11, 2006 till May 15, 2008. 2 years and 4 days of pure bliss!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Driving, Driving, Driving...
So Monica and I spent the last two and half days driving out west to Calgary, to pick up my van and pack up Mia's toys, and such. What a LONG tiring drive! But man alive we have been having such a great time! Plus I think it was much needed to come here so I can have some one-on-one conversations with Paul. Its starting a healing process for me, and whether I move on or keep trying either way, I can forgive Paul now and not be as hurt. So I am very thankful that I have made the trek out west. I do miss Mia tremendously though and can't wait to be back home again with her in my arms!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Before I was a mom
Before I was a mom,
There was no worry of saggy boobs, and questions of how long will you nurse.
There was no sleepless nights (unless I wanted them).
There was no sticky carpets from fallen food.
There was no cleaning of dirty diapers.
There was no crying as I watched my baby get a needle.
There was time for beautiful hair and makeup.
There was time for late night visits with friends.
There was time for super long showers, the involved a good soak and silky smooth legs.
There was time for drinking a hot beverage and enjoying a long book without interruptions.
But now there is toys everywhere, spit on my clothes, dirty dishes in my sink, half done hair,
singing some silly song for my baby, and lots and lots of love to fill my home.
Before I was a mom there were luxuries that I now miss, but I wouldn't trade them for anything,
because my baby Mia is my now my everything!
Happy Mama's day!
There was no worry of saggy boobs, and questions of how long will you nurse.
There was no sleepless nights (unless I wanted them).
There was no sticky carpets from fallen food.
There was no cleaning of dirty diapers.
There was no crying as I watched my baby get a needle.
There was time for beautiful hair and makeup.
There was time for late night visits with friends.
There was time for super long showers, the involved a good soak and silky smooth legs.
There was time for drinking a hot beverage and enjoying a long book without interruptions.
But now there is toys everywhere, spit on my clothes, dirty dishes in my sink, half done hair,
singing some silly song for my baby, and lots and lots of love to fill my home.
Before I was a mom there were luxuries that I now miss, but I wouldn't trade them for anything,
because my baby Mia is my now my everything!
Happy Mama's day!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Summer, summer, summer days.....
Man alive....I was really enjoying those beautiful summer days!!! Mia and I went out for a walk every single day to the park and had to wear sunscreen for once in a very LONG time!!! It was gorgeous! Not having to worry about winter coats or boots! LOVED IT! But here we are again with COLD weather!!! I let out a BOOOOOO on the world for that one! I really hope we don't get any snow.
Besides the lovely weather, I am STILL losing weight!!! YEY! I am at a total weight loss of -26 lbs right now and I am highly aiming for a -4lb weight loss this week which will round me out (or slim me down) to a whopping -30lbs in just 7 weeks!!!! Looking back on my life of yo-yo dieting of gain and loss' I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to finally be doing something that's working! I love it! And I can't wait for more summer days so I can show off my better body!!!!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Letting my dirty laundry out.....
My husband and I met 5 years ago at church, he was the drummer and I was young (16), I was instantly in-love with him. Shorty after we met we began dating, it was perfect, and blisfull. (isn't that how all relationships start?) Well I was away on a missions trip to Costa Rica, I got a call from my then boy friend saying he had fallen into some drugs at a party and he confessed to me that he had, had a problem in the past with them, but he was not going to do them anymore.
Thru out the first 6 months of our relationship it was a battle for Paul, he couldn't decide for sure whether or not he wanted to smoke pot or not. He then proposed to me only after being together for 7 months. I was so excited and quickly accepted. We planned our wedding for 2 days after I turned 18 so that we didn't have to get my parents to sign the papers. Meen while I keep a deep hidden secret that Paul was struggling with drugs. I figured he was young (21) and he would grow out of it. Well I was sadly mistaken.
1 month before our 1 year anniversary I found out we were expecting, it should have been happy occassion, but deep in my heart I knew that it would be impossible to raise a child with someone who was addicted to drugs. So I left Paul and he saught out counselling at Teen Challenge. I was terrifed of being alone so shortly after I had left Paul (1.5 months) I returned home to live with him, with his promise to continue consulling and to stop hanging out with his friends. Finally 2 months before our daughter was born Paul walked away from drugs, which seemed at the time that God had broken the bondage that he had for drugs. Mia was born and one month after that Paul was doing drugs again. My heart was broken, how could God release him from his addiction, then take it away so easily? This time I wasn't going to leave because I thought I could deal with it and I wanted Mia to have a daddy. So I convinved my husband that we needed to move out of Ontario to get away from his friends and start a new life, without drugs.
Paul made plans to move to Calgary where he found a job quickly. Mia and I would stay behind and sell the house then meet him there. Our house sold quickly within 2 weeks of Paul leaving, but I was wounded from the years of dealing with Paul and needed a break. I finally moved to Calgary this Past Christmas (3 months after he had been in Calgary) to find out that Paul had made new "drug'y" friends. I peged and pleaed with Paul to seek counselling, and stop doing drugs, but he had no real intereset. So in Febuary, I packed my bags and Mia and I moved back to Ontario without her daddy. My heart is broken because I keep telling Paul, seek counselling, Go to church and stop doing drugs. Then we can work towards restoring our marriage. He says he wants to change but won't take any of these steps. I am so confussed and angry with God. I know I could have prevented all of this by not marrying Paul, but I really do love him and want to be with him. But at this rate, I am going to be a divorced single mother and only 21! How can I trust God, when I feel like my whole world is fallen apart? And no one is willing to support me? Everyone just thinks I should stay with Paul and make it work. Because the biblical thing is I can't divorce Paul unless hes cheated on me...but I feel like he has cheated on me, he affair is just drugs, not a women.
Thru out the first 6 months of our relationship it was a battle for Paul, he couldn't decide for sure whether or not he wanted to smoke pot or not. He then proposed to me only after being together for 7 months. I was so excited and quickly accepted. We planned our wedding for 2 days after I turned 18 so that we didn't have to get my parents to sign the papers. Meen while I keep a deep hidden secret that Paul was struggling with drugs. I figured he was young (21) and he would grow out of it. Well I was sadly mistaken.
1 month before our 1 year anniversary I found out we were expecting, it should have been happy occassion, but deep in my heart I knew that it would be impossible to raise a child with someone who was addicted to drugs. So I left Paul and he saught out counselling at Teen Challenge. I was terrifed of being alone so shortly after I had left Paul (1.5 months) I returned home to live with him, with his promise to continue consulling and to stop hanging out with his friends. Finally 2 months before our daughter was born Paul walked away from drugs, which seemed at the time that God had broken the bondage that he had for drugs. Mia was born and one month after that Paul was doing drugs again. My heart was broken, how could God release him from his addiction, then take it away so easily? This time I wasn't going to leave because I thought I could deal with it and I wanted Mia to have a daddy. So I convinved my husband that we needed to move out of Ontario to get away from his friends and start a new life, without drugs.
Paul made plans to move to Calgary where he found a job quickly. Mia and I would stay behind and sell the house then meet him there. Our house sold quickly within 2 weeks of Paul leaving, but I was wounded from the years of dealing with Paul and needed a break. I finally moved to Calgary this Past Christmas (3 months after he had been in Calgary) to find out that Paul had made new "drug'y" friends. I peged and pleaed with Paul to seek counselling, and stop doing drugs, but he had no real intereset. So in Febuary, I packed my bags and Mia and I moved back to Ontario without her daddy. My heart is broken because I keep telling Paul, seek counselling, Go to church and stop doing drugs. Then we can work towards restoring our marriage. He says he wants to change but won't take any of these steps. I am so confussed and angry with God. I know I could have prevented all of this by not marrying Paul, but I really do love him and want to be with him. But at this rate, I am going to be a divorced single mother and only 21! How can I trust God, when I feel like my whole world is fallen apart? And no one is willing to support me? Everyone just thinks I should stay with Paul and make it work. Because the biblical thing is I can't divorce Paul unless hes cheated on me...but I feel like he has cheated on me, he affair is just drugs, not a women.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Kids say the darnest things...
So about a month ago my Granny passed away, and My Mom explained to Mia that she wouldn't be seeing Granny anymore because she went home to be with Jesus. So my friend Katie was down this week, and when she left Mia asked where she went, so I said "she went home". Mia then replied with; "Oh, Aunt Katie went home to Jesus". LOL Too cute!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
