Summer, summer, summer days.....

Man alive....I was really enjoying those beautiful summer days!!! Mia and I went out for a walk every single day to the park and had to wear sunscreen for once in a very LONG time!!! It was gorgeous! Not having to worry about winter coats or boots! LOVED IT! But here we are again with COLD weather!!! I let out a BOOOOOO on the world for that one! I really hope we don't get any snow.

Besides the lovely weather, I am STILL losing weight!!! YEY! I am at a total weight loss of -26 lbs right now and I am highly aiming for a -4lb weight loss this week which will round me out (or slim me down) to a whopping -30lbs in just 7 weeks!!!! Looking back on my life of yo-yo dieting of gain and loss' I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to finally be doing something that's working! I love it! And I can't wait for more summer days so I can show off my better body!!!!!

Letting my dirty laundry out.....

My husband and I met 5 years ago at church, he was the drummer and I was young (16), I was instantly in-love with him. Shorty after we met we began dating, it was perfect, and blisfull. (isn't that how all relationships start?) Well I was away on a missions trip to Costa Rica, I got a call from my then boy friend saying he had fallen into some drugs at a party and he confessed to me that he had, had a problem in the past with them, but he was not going to do them anymore.

Thru out the first 6 months of our relationship it was a battle for Paul, he couldn't decide for sure whether or not he wanted to smoke pot or not. He then proposed to me only after being together for 7 months. I was so excited and quickly accepted. We planned our wedding for 2 days after I turned 18 so that we didn't have to get my parents to sign the papers. Meen while I keep a deep hidden secret that Paul was struggling with drugs. I figured he was young (21) and he would grow out of it. Well I was sadly mistaken.

1 month before our 1 year anniversary I found out we were expecting, it should have been happy occassion, but deep in my heart I knew that it would be impossible to raise a child with someone who was addicted to drugs. So I left Paul and he saught out counselling at Teen Challenge. I was terrifed of being alone so shortly after I had left Paul (1.5 months) I returned home to live with him, with his promise to continue consulling and to stop hanging out with his friends. Finally 2 months before our daughter was born Paul walked away from drugs, which seemed at the time that God had broken the bondage that he had for drugs. Mia was born and one month after that Paul was doing drugs again. My heart was broken, how could God release him from his addiction, then take it away so easily? This time I wasn't going to leave because I thought I could deal with it and I wanted Mia to have a daddy. So I convinved my husband that we needed to move out of Ontario to get away from his friends and start a new life, without drugs.

Paul made plans to move to Calgary where he found a job quickly. Mia and I would stay behind and sell the house then meet him there. Our house sold quickly within 2 weeks of Paul leaving, but I was wounded from the years of dealing with Paul and needed a break. I finally moved to Calgary this Past Christmas (3 months after he had been in Calgary) to find out that Paul had made new "drug'y" friends. I peged and pleaed with Paul to seek counselling, and stop doing drugs, but he had no real intereset. So in Febuary, I packed my bags and Mia and I moved back to Ontario without her daddy. My heart is broken because I keep telling Paul, seek counselling, Go to church and stop doing drugs. Then we can work towards restoring our marriage. He says he wants to change but won't take any of these steps. I am so confussed and angry with God. I know I could have prevented all of this by not marrying Paul, but I really do love him and want to be with him. But at this rate, I am going to be a divorced single mother and only 21! How can I trust God, when I feel like my whole world is fallen apart? And no one is willing to support me? Everyone just thinks I should stay with Paul and make it work. Because the biblical thing is I can't divorce Paul unless hes cheated on me...but I feel like he has cheated on me, he affair is just drugs, not a women.

Kids say the darnest things...

So about a month ago my Granny passed away, and My Mom explained to Mia that she wouldn't be seeing Granny anymore because she went home to be with Jesus. So my friend Katie was down this week, and when she left Mia asked where she went, so I said "she went home". Mia then replied with; "Oh, Aunt Katie went home to Jesus". LOL Too cute!

My Story...

I am sure everyone that knows me is wondering...."what on earth is Angie doing with her life right now"? AHAHA! Life is crazy for Mia and I right now, its a busy, confusing mess, that we live in but somehow we are still really loving our little life.

About 3 months ago Mia and I moved off to Calgary, Alberta to try and make it work with her daddy, but things didn't pan out so well, so now were back here in Ontario starting a new life for ourselves, and honestly I think it was the best move for us right now. I am happier than I have ever been, and I am actually making bigger, better plans for our life, that I would have NEVER done while married.

I am currently hoping to get into a PSW course thru the adult ed where we live and hope to finish that in 6 months, then I will be start working...which is so unbelievably shocking for me, because I thought I would ALWAYS be a stay-at-home mommy. But life hands you different circumstances and you just have to roll with the punches! So after I am done taking the PSW (personal support worker) course I am going to look at furthering my education even more, but man-alive there about a dozen or more careers I am interested in right now, so I need to make a solid decision before I pour tons of money into more education!

Another exciting venture for me right now is that I am FINALLY losing weight! Its been a long time coming and I have the ambition now to go for it! :-) I have lost 12lbs this month and am still going strong! Thank God for weight watchers, it really is a life saver and I really hope I can make it to my goal weight loss of 105lbs by Next August!

Anyways a very tired mommy is over-and-out to go do some much needed snuggling with my beautiful sleeping baby...who p.s. goes to bed now at 8:30!!!! (big improvement from our old 12am bed time!!)