Papayas Mom

The last 40lbs

2009-01-25T07:44:00.000-08:00

It seems that I have been staring the last 40lbs in the face since October...I look at it and think what the heck!? The first 60lbs came off like butter on a hot pan, but this last 40lbs is sticking!!! It doesn't want to budge...but to be honest it is partially my fault! I go from being super good one day, to meh the next...but I am maintaining, and that I am really proud of! But I am about to kick it in the ass! I am cutting the fat burners out because I think I have been just too darn dependent upon them, and I am going to journal, journal, journal all my food and workout daily (minus saturday, my day of rest!) And I am also going to step off the scale for a full month to just focus, and not being staring at the numbers! I can do it! I want to be at my goal weight by may...but who knows maybe I will be happy at 170lbs....I am pretty happy right now, but I want to be healthy and happy...so here it goes....I am off to the gym...and off to losing that last 40lbs!!!!

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas....

2008-11-21T21:27:00.000-08:00

Here comes Santa Clause, Here comes Santa Clause, Right down Santa Clause Lane.....

Ahhhh snow and Christmas!! I LOVE it!!! I am so excited for a wonderful Christmas this year! I was so worried that I wasn`t going to be able to swing Christmas this year, but I am lucky enough to have saved enough and got EVERYTHING I needed for everyone!! :o) I officially finished as of yesterday!! And James and I were smart and bought our C-mas present for each other back in October (a wii) so we wouldn`t have to pile it on top of the list of presents we needed to get!

Today I was taking Mia home from daycare and we drove past a house with TONS of those blow up characters (sooooo many that you could hardly see the house!!) And Mia screams out `LOOK Mommy!! It`s Christmas!!!` So I said oh, what is Christmas Mia, and she says `Santa is Christmas` LOL it was too cute!!

Mia has officially potty trained! We are almost accident free minus the BM`s...it will come! We went for our Christmas photo shoot today and she was playing in the snow for an hour and a half and she didn`t even have an accident! Mommy is soooo proud!! So after our photo shoot we went and had a yummy hot chocolate (Mia`s first one ever!!) She LOVED it!!

School is going well, I have a 95% average right now, and it is flying by! I am working in a nursing home right now, and REALLY loving it! I spent the last 5 days in the Alzheimer's wing and am really sad to be moving on, it was such a great experience, and the residents were just a joy to be around! I never thought I would enjoy working in LTC (long term care) But it has been SO much fun!

Looking forward to Christmas...hoping Mia and I get our house soon! Would be so nice to be into it before Christmas so we could decorate...*Fingers Crossed*

4 weeks in....

2008-09-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

Were into week 4 of school and daycare and we are both LOVE'N it!!!

Mia has two wonderful daycare teachers named Anita and Lisa who mean the world to her. She is always going on about how much she loves them and sings songs that they teach her! They rave about Mia too as she is the oldest in the class and likes to help a lot! Mia has informed me that she has a boyfriend, who's name is "Zachary" who is 2, and she is 2.5!!!! <--- her words not mine! I am so happy that she is enjoying it, we didn't even have one day of crying! Just lots of happiness and fun! Its great! My mom has been taking Mia to daycare every morning, but Nana is off on the road with papa starting tomorrow, so I have to get up extra early now to take Mia to daycare...but we will survive it! :0)

As for school, I really do love it! Its ALOT of work...I can't even stress alot enough...I am up to my neck in homework, tests and assginments, 24/7 as I finish one I get another handed to me! *sigh* But I will done this whole course load thing by the end of dec. Then I am off to community placement and I only have to worry about my exam on Jan. 20th. So I its going to fly by! ( or so I hope )!

My b-day is around the corner, and I think I am going to have the house to myself with no one to make me a cake...do you think it would be sad to make my own cake?!?!? LOL Maybe I will make James make me a cake...I wonder if he can?

a week and a few days?!?!?!

2008-08-24T12:57:00.000-07:00

Oh my, oh my....its only a week and few days till I start school and Mia starts full-time daycare!! Its going to be a crazy busy time in our lives, but super exciting! I am going to be taking my PSW (personal support worker) and the course last 6 months, 300 and some odd hours of the course are on site in a nursing home though, so it should be a fun time! Then once I am done, I will working full-time (hopefully!!)

Mia has been talking non-stop about her new daycare since we visited it, she always asks when we are getting ready in the morning if today is the day she is going to daycare. Its sooo cute! I am hoping that the transition from being at home with mommy to full-time daycare goes really easily for Mia and that I am not called out of school to a bawling Mia. That would just break my heart! But Mia is a very out going little girl, and loves people, so I am really keeping my fingers, and toes crossed that she doesn't freak out! LOL

I still can't belive that summer is drawing to an end...how does summer go so quickly??!?! But...I have enjoyed every moment of summer and taken it all in, because its crazy how fast its going! I can't wait till next summer though, as Mia and I are in Monica's wedding, and its ganna be an AWESOME time! And hopefully we will get to go visit Uncle Jake next summer...because that is the one thing that was missing from our typical summers....VANCOUVER!

Well we're off to go enjoy some park time before me blink and summer is gone!

Summer+Beach= LOVE

2008-07-13T14:17:00.000-07:00

I LOVE SUMMER!!!! I can't belive how much, I've missed summer! Its such a great thing!! Mia and I have been beaching it like crazy this year, we've been to Grand Bend once, and Port Stanely on a weekly basis. Gotta LOVE it! Mia is even now swimming on her own in the pool (life jacket assisted that is!) She gets soo excited when she is swimming, saying, "hook at meeee...." Its way too adorable! I never thought she would be swimming on her own in the pool this year, but Uncle Vince was over this weekend and got Mia over her fear of the pool! Rock on Uncle Vince!

Mia is still slowly but surely potty training, she likes the treat aspect of it. She'll pee a little then get a smartie, then pee a little more 5 seconds later in anticipation for another smartie! Shes got the whole thing figured out to a 'T' LOL!

Mia and I went to go check out her hopefully new daycare for september, and I am in LOVE with it! It is such a home like enviroment, with lots of loving teachers! Mia didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay and play with all the kids. I think the transition to full-time daycare will be harder on mom than it will be on Mia! She'll run and play and I'll be fretting about her all day! :-)

Hope everyone is enjoying thier summer days as much as we are!!! Now we just need to add some camping to our mix!

To all the "poison" in my life:

2008-06-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

You are the venom in my veins,

you are driving me insane.

Words spoken,

Words twisted,

Words that were meant to 'uplift'...

Love confused,

Binds twisted,

Blood thinner than water...

The thorns on my rosebush that I did not see.

Goals will be prevailed,

New love will be found.

Old left behind with

bittersweet memories.

I sit in silence while the poison you speak seeps through my veins.

I cast it out, and stand bold and confident,

as I start a new journey.

Hurt eventually forgiven,

but not first without apology.

potty training

2008-06-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

Finally Mia is again showing signs of potty training!!! YEY!!! Back in January I was SURE that Mia was fully potty trained; she was going every 20 mins and not wearing diapers, then I moved back to Ontario and she fell from it and basically wanted nothing to do with it. But yesterday Mia went on the potty 7 times!!! And one of them was even a bm! Today she even asked to go potty more than once! CUUUTE!

This week she is spending 5 full days/nights with her daddy, while he is visiting from Calgary, and I am off to spend some quality time with my girls, so hopefully she doesn't fall short and give up on it again! Common Mia mommy knows you can do it! My goal is fully potty trained by September!

Weaned :(

2008-05-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

My trip out west was such a great time! I've had Mia full-time since she was born so I think a 9 day vacation was much deserved! The trip did result in Mia's weaning, on the one hand, it sucks! I miss having those one-on-one moments with Mia in the silence of our bedroom and being just quite together, but on the other hand I am jumping for joy as this means I have more freedom! I can buy push-up under wire bras again and I can go spend the night at someones house and not have to worry about Mia needing me. I don't regret a moment of nursing Mia till she was 2, and I never thought that I would wean her this early, it just happened. But I am thankful for the time that I was able to spend with Mia nursing. And I can't wait till I get to go thru pregnancy, nursing and all the jazz again, who knows when that will be, but I look forward to it! :)

Nursed Mia from May 11, 2006 till May 15, 2008. 2 years and 4 days of pure bliss!

Driving, Driving, Driving...

2008-05-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

So Monica and I spent the last two and half days driving out west to Calgary, to pick up my van and pack up Mia's toys, and such. What a LONG tiring drive! But man alive we have been having such a great time! Plus I think it was much needed to come here so I can have some one-on-one conversations with Paul. Its starting a healing process for me, and whether I move on or keep trying either way, I can forgive Paul now and not be as hurt. So I am very thankful that I have made the trek out west. I do miss Mia tremendously though and can't wait to be back home again with her in my arms!

2008-05-11T14:31:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL
MIA!!!!

Before I was a mom

2008-05-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

Before I was a mom,

There was no worry of saggy boobs, and questions of how long will you nurse.

There was no sleepless nights (unless I wanted them).

There was no sticky carpets from fallen food.

There was no cleaning of dirty diapers.

There was no crying as I watched my baby get a needle.

There was time for beautiful hair and makeup.

There was time for late night visits with friends.

There was time for super long showers, the involved a good soak and silky smooth legs.

There was time for drinking a hot beverage and enjoying a long book without interruptions.

But now there is toys everywhere, spit on my clothes, dirty dishes in my sink, half done hair,

singing some silly song for my baby, and lots and lots of love to fill my home.

Before I was a mom there were luxuries that I now miss, but I wouldn't trade them for anything,

because my baby Mia is my now my everything!

Happy Mama's day!

Summer, summer, summer days.....

2008-04-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

Man alive....I was really enjoying those beautiful summer days!!! Mia and I went out for a walk every single day to the park and had to wear sunscreen for once in a very LONG time!!! It was gorgeous! Not having to worry about winter coats or boots! LOVED IT! But here we are again with COLD weather!!! I let out a BOOOOOO on the world for that one! I really hope we don't get any snow.

Besides the lovely weather, I am STILL losing weight!!! YEY! I am at a total weight loss of -26 lbs right now and I am highly aiming for a -4lb weight loss this week which will round me out (or slim me down) to a whopping -30lbs in just 7 weeks!!!! Looking back on my life of yo-yo dieting of gain and loss' I can't even begin to describe how amazing it feels to finally be doing something that's working! I love it! And I can't wait for more summer days so I can show off my better body!!!!!

Letting my dirty laundry out.....

2008-04-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

My husband and I met 5 years ago at church, he was the drummer and I was young (16), I was instantly in-love with him. Shorty after we met we began dating, it was perfect, and blisfull. (isn't that how all relationships start?) Well I was away on a missions trip to Costa Rica, I got a call from my then boy friend saying he had fallen into some drugs at a party and he confessed to me that he had, had a problem in the past with them, but he was not going to do them anymore.

Thru out the first 6 months of our relationship it was a battle for Paul, he couldn't decide for sure whether or not he wanted to smoke pot or not. He then proposed to me only after being together for 7 months. I was so excited and quickly accepted. We planned our wedding for 2 days after I turned 18 so that we didn't have to get my parents to sign the papers. Meen while I keep a deep hidden secret that Paul was struggling with drugs. I figured he was young (21) and he would grow out of it. Well I was sadly mistaken.

1 month before our 1 year anniversary I found out we were expecting, it should have been happy occassion, but deep in my heart I knew that it would be impossible to raise a child with someone who was addicted to drugs. So I left Paul and he saught out counselling at Teen Challenge. I was terrifed of being alone so shortly after I had left Paul (1.5 months) I returned home to live with him, with his promise to continue consulling and to stop hanging out with his friends. Finally 2 months before our daughter was born Paul walked away from drugs, which seemed at the time that God had broken the bondage that he had for drugs. Mia was born and one month after that Paul was doing drugs again. My heart was broken, how could God release him from his addiction, then take it away so easily? This time I wasn't going to leave because I thought I could deal with it and I wanted Mia to have a daddy. So I convinved my husband that we needed to move out of Ontario to get away from his friends and start a new life, without drugs.

Paul made plans to move to Calgary where he found a job quickly. Mia and I would stay behind and sell the house then meet him there. Our house sold quickly within 2 weeks of Paul leaving, but I was wounded from the years of dealing with Paul and needed a break. I finally moved to Calgary this Past Christmas (3 months after he had been in Calgary) to find out that Paul had made new "drug'y" friends. I peged and pleaed with Paul to seek counselling, and stop doing drugs, but he had no real intereset. So in Febuary, I packed my bags and Mia and I moved back to Ontario without her daddy. My heart is broken because I keep telling Paul, seek counselling, Go to church and stop doing drugs. Then we can work towards restoring our marriage. He says he wants to change but won't take any of these steps. I am so confussed and angry with God. I know I could have prevented all of this by not marrying Paul, but I really do love him and want to be with him. But at this rate, I am going to be a divorced single mother and only 21! How can I trust God, when I feel like my whole world is fallen apart? And no one is willing to support me? Everyone just thinks I should stay with Paul and make it work. Because the biblical thing is I can't divorce Paul unless hes cheated on me...but I feel like he has cheated on me, he affair is just drugs, not a women.

Kids say the darnest things...

2008-04-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

So about a month ago my Granny passed away, and My Mom explained to Mia that she wouldn't be seeing Granny anymore because she went home to be with Jesus. So my friend Katie was down this week, and when she left Mia asked where she went, so I said "she went home". Mia then replied with; "Oh, Aunt Katie went home to Jesus". LOL Too cute!

My Story...

2008-04-07T19:45:00.000-07:00

I am sure everyone that knows me is wondering...."what on earth is Angie doing with her life right now"? AHAHA! Life is crazy for Mia and I right now, its a busy, confusing mess, that we live in but somehow we are still really loving our little life.

About 3 months ago Mia and I moved off to Calgary, Alberta to try and make it work with her daddy, but things didn't pan out so well, so now were back here in Ontario starting a new life for ourselves, and honestly I think it was the best move for us right now. I am happier than I have ever been, and I am actually making bigger, better plans for our life, that I would have NEVER done while married.

I am currently hoping to get into a PSW course thru the adult ed where we live and hope to finish that in 6 months, then I will be start working...which is so unbelievably shocking for me, because I thought I would ALWAYS be a stay-at-home mommy. But life hands you different circumstances and you just have to roll with the punches! So after I am done taking the PSW (personal support worker) course I am going to look at furthering my education even more, but man-alive there about a dozen or more careers I am interested in right now, so I need to make a solid decision before I pour tons of money into more education!

Another exciting venture for me right now is that I am FINALLY losing weight! Its been a long time coming and I have the ambition now to go for it! :-) I have lost 12lbs this month and am still going strong! Thank God for weight watchers, it really is a life saver and I really hope I can make it to my goal weight loss of 105lbs by Next August!

Anyways a very tired mommy is over-and-out to go do some much needed snuggling with my beautiful sleeping baby...who p.s. goes to bed now at 8:30!!!! (big improvement from our old 12am bed time!!)